Bodie. 1982 to 2000 x

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It’s 14 years ago today since we lost our first little dog Bodie who we had for 18 years. I swore blind after losing him I would never have another dog because it was such a massive loss. In fact it was 8 years later (almost to the day) while living in India that little Mowgli crawled out of the jungle and chose us – and his life has been well documented.

But today is a Rememberance Day for a little companion who I still miss but am happy to have the memories x (Bodie) x

A soul-less place with no connection

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Today I went back to the gardens of remembrance at the crematorium to pay respects to my foster Mam Katie who passed away 40 years ago today. I’d made the trip many times before in order to see the book open with her name on the page but today was different. For some reason, maybe because it was raining I’m not sure, as I walked round the gardens I felt them to be totally soul-less and I felt no connection with my mother at all. Even looking at the book with her name in left me spiritually indifferent. I won’t go back. The fact I am sharply aware of my mothers birth date and passing date is enough for me to know she is always in my heart and I get more comfort on those days from my own reflections and private prayer.

A sad and happy day

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Finally after many years of searching I met my long lost cousin Jane who turned out to be a lovely person. Sadly our meeting was at the funeral service of her father, my Uncle Trevor, and Jane was clearly exhausted from spending the week making the arrangements and coping with her loss.

The service Jane had arranged for her father was beautifully delivered by a humanist friend of hers who personalised it especially for him, her raconteur, maverick, publican, chemist, genuinely funny dad with a zest for life. Anecdotes from all stages of his life were complimented by the music of Neil Diamond and guests continued sharing their memories at the wake held in his local club.

It is a sad day for both Jane and me losing her father and my uncle. But it’s also a happy day for me (and hopefully Jane too) that we now both have a long lost cousin back in our lives. X

The original #workingclasshero Love to John Lennon

I was a massive fan of Lennon the rebel when he was alive and my admiration has never waned since his death 33 years ago today. For me his murder was profoundly shocking as it was for millions of people around the world; it was never something I ever got over.

Occasionally on a Sunday I put on my old vinyl LP’s (as we called them) and just dwell in the moment. From Imagine to Double Fantasy it’s taken me years to collect all of his solo albums and my collection is by far my most treasured possession. For those who may be too young to know about John Lennon he was the original Working Class Hero; in Britain he was adored for his music, his wit, his writings and his drawings and in the world at large (despite his rebel status) he was a man of peace. His song Give Peace a Chance effectively stopped the Vietnam War.

Today I send my love to John and say thank you for being there for me during my wayward teenage years, my twenties, my thirties, my forties and my fifties, and if the Lord graces me with another decade of life you will as always be a major part of it x

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Her body has left this world, but her soul is still very much watched over by me

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I lost my beautiful sister on 1 April 2012. It was particularly painful for me as I was thousands of miles away in India at the time. I’d seen her a few days before I left the UK and doctors told me that although she had a terminal illness she would live at least another twelve months. She lived another five days.

In India I found myself taking long walks along very long beaches as a way of trying to come to terms with my loss and in some ways I’m thankful I had that time. Even though I was angry with the doctors I’ve always felt very spiritual in India and over about three weeks I was blessed with many opportunities to reflect.

As with most people who have lost someone I suppose I clue into those special dates as a way of remembering my sister and feeling close to her again even if it is just for a short while. Today (19 November) is her birthday and I wanted not just to acknowledge her but also remind myself that she is still very much an important part of my life. Her body has left this world, but her soul is still very much watched over by me. My love for her never dies, quite the contrary x x x